Sunday, June 9, 2013

"Embrace the Suck"

Well, I guess it was time. All this mushy love and God stuff and people are gonna quit reading if it doesn't get real sometime soon. Once, when I was complaining about something to Seth, he said, "Well, they have a saying here, and it goes, 'embrace the suck.'" Like, learn to love it 'cause it ain't getting any better! It's good for ya'!

I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. School is out, and I do not thrive in this type of environment with no structure. See, it wasn't that bad at first because I had school all day long, where I stayed busy and interacted with real people (as opposed to my dogs, which I pretend are real people, and Facebook and Instagram people). Also, this may sound bad, but I kinda was excited about a few things that I couldn't do when Seth was at home. One, I could browse the aisles of a store, for hours if I wanted to. If you know Seth, he's not really the "browsing" type. Like, he insisted on going to the store with me, but then was rushing me out the door as soon as we got there. He's what we like to call "young at heart." :)  So I started to take an excessive amount of time in stores after he left. Another thing is, we would never agree on what we wanted to eat. It was always a compromise, and he was definitely the "three meals a day" type, where I am more of the "eat when you're hungry" type. So after he left it was a little exciting to get to pick whatever I wanted to eat! Like, if I want to buy a dozen Krispy Kremes for myself and then exist solely on doughnuts and pistachios for a week, I can! Or if I want to eat nothing but a Sonic cherry lime-aid slush all day and then go get Taco Casa at 9:30 PM, I can! I'm on MY time. I am accountable to NOONE. LOL! Sounds so awesome, but let's be real, the awesomeness has long since worn off. Forgive me while I feel sorry for myself for a minute.

Since school has been out, I have to spend a lot of time alone. I wake up alone, eat pretty much every meal alone, sit on the couch and watch TV alone, mow the grass alone, clean the house alone, kill bugs alone, run errands alone, go to sleep alone...and then get up and do it all again. It's really only been a few days of that, and don't get me wrong, I have great friends and family here, but unavoidably, while I am off work all summer and living by myself, I am going to spend the majority of my time by myself. It's a little ironic how I used to tell Seth I just needed some time alone after a long day at work. I would give anything to take those moments back and spend them with him! I pray that I never forget this feeling, that I always cherish every second I get to spend with him. I pray that for you too, that you don't take for granted the time you have with your loved ones.

Anyway, here is my relevant scripture for this post.
James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith developes perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Or, in other words, "Embrace the suck!" Who knew the Army was so well versed in scripture?! Lol! So, yes, this sucks, and it's not getting any better until July 24th; however, I do pray that God develops a stronger character in me and Seth, and that He will be able to use us because of this experience. In that, I can find joy. :)

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey- This is your bro in law Jamie talking. I am so proud of you, and you are such an inspiration to us all. It is truly a testament of your character, and most of all your relationship to God how you are holding up through all of this. It makes me so sad thinking about you having to be so lonely, and eat so many meals alone. Please know that even though April and I are homeless at the time, and are on the opposite side of town, you can call us at any time. Come hang out with us on a Mon, Wed or Fri night sometime. My parents would love for you to come visit. It seems that in some way or another this is a summer of "transition" for all of us, including your parents. Maybe He is testing us all to depend more on Him, instead of being comforted by our regular, stable, unchanging day to day rut. All I know is if we can all hold up to the challenges like you and Seth have, then I'm pretty sure everythings gonna be alright! We love you!! How was the house showing today? Praying you guys will sell!